Opinion:
I don’t care what you saw in some dumb ass movie or read in some terribly inaccurate book. BDSM is basically the Mr. Potato Head of kink/relationships/dynamics/lifestyles. You don’t have to be shoved into a particular group and be told that’s where you’re supposed to be.
You can belong to a mix of all kinds of different kinks and lifestyles. We are all unique with unique wants, desires, and needs. Don’t let someone tell you what you’re supposed to be. As long as you keep everything Safe, Sane, and Consensual, do whatever works for you or for you and your partner.
Mindsets and your headspace can change and that’s part of being human. You do not need to try and conform to a perceived “textbook” way of doing things. Are there some methods and ways of doing things that most can all agree upon? Of course, but those usually relate to remaining mentally healthy and emotionally/physically safe.
Like life and human nature itself, BDSM is fluid. It is adaptable and flexible. It is all of the things you need it to be. It is there to both promote and accommodate personal growth. You don’t have to be strict and a suit wearing 24/7 Master/slave to enjoy the wonderful bounties of D/s and BDSM in general. Stop looking to terrible movies, books, and porn to develop your perception of BDSM.
This isn’t just about sex, it’s about growing together and working towards the betterment of each other and oneself. It’s about commitment, communication, reassurance, respect, trust, effort, and a deep caring for one another.
Too often BDSM is the scapegoat to justify emotional, physical, and spiritual abuse. Too often BDSM is falsely misconstrued into some dark and depraved form of “50 Shades” ball of bull shit. Knowledge is out there and you should always endeavor to seek it and maintain it. The education doesn’t and shouldn’t ever end. It’s guidance and leadership. It’s partnerships and building your self worth and value.
All of you fake ass posers/abusers/fuckbois(gals) take notice, this is a community that looks after one another. You will be found out and exposed. You will not continue to soil the beauty of what BDSM truly is.
All of those new to the community, welcome! There’s a lot of new and exciting information to learn and absorb. Don’t worry about not knowing where to start at first. Don’t worry about feeling like there’s too much to try and take in. This is a long journey and not a pottery class at the community center. It takes time and the learning never ends. Speak and seek what you wish to know. Get your information from multiple sources. Learn the science and psychology behind it. Don’t get disheartened if you don’t feel you belong to one specific group because we’re all a bunch of groups that make up this incredible community. You do belong and you will find your place and chances are you’ll see yourself changing as you go. You are welcome and we are here to try and help you on your journey.
— Sir Daddy